Friday, June 17, 2011


I am up thinking. Ladybug's feeding pump beeped at me, and now I have some things on my mind that need pondering for a moment. What are ya' gonna' do, right?! I have to take a quiet moment where I can get it! :0)

I have been really struggling to make sense of our schedule lately, and to get us back to something good like it used to be. We used to get up every morning and focus immediately on a routine involving morning learning and devotional. I loved this for a while, but eventually found that it threw us into a daily routine that felt a little too rigid and structured. I think we just took that "All or Nothing" mentality a bit and I felt like the kiddos' play and free time fell to the wayside too much and that they weren't learning to work the way they needed to and then when too many things became all-important, nothing was. Fast forward to now and it seems once again, like we've gone in an "extreme" direction. In an effort to balance everything a bit more, we lost our groove for a great learning experience! What is a mother to do? So many options and so many ways to foster greatness or throw a road block in our day! It is really mind boggling!'s an aside for you: An outside family member keeps mentioning to me, that life is often unfair for our children, because there are those who struggle with medical issues and then there are those who lose out on opportunities because one or more kiddo's are sick or compromised in some way and so the family can't do this or that. This statement makes me sad. I try very hard, to give our children the opportunities that I feel prompted they need! But I also feel that as a family, we need to stick together! I know there are valuable lessons that each child is learning, when one of the children needs extra care or keeps us from going here or there. This family member has insinuated that our other children are going to resent me, for not allowing them more opportunities, because of family circumstances. I sure hope that's not the case, but I feel strongly, that our family dynamic was divinely designed and that we need to stick together and support and serve one another! I wish sometimes, that people would keep their comments to themselves, about their outside view of our life. I am doing the best I know how, and I know that the Savior will make up the difference for each of us! Or maybe...I just need a thicker skin! :0)

So... I think this all boils down to allowing too many of the "non-essentials" to become too important. (This, by the way, is quite easy to do, in any family!) We've all heard that saying about how if everything in life is important than nothing is. This completely sums up how I am feeling lately, and we just HAVE to get back to those absolute essentials for our lives and our days. I am sad to admit that our Family Home Evenings have really suffered recently. I even have a little FHE in a Jar, and yet we can't seem to be consistent with FHE. I know my family really needs this! I think I struggle most, in trying to plan a lesson, organize who will do what (or rather just stick to what our FHE Wheel tells us,) make sure there's a treat (I actually think this is a really important part of it), and then carry through with all of it, even when Mr. isn't home from work. (Have I mentioned how insane his unpredictable work schedule is driving us all, including him, lately? Ugh...that's totally for another post!) :0)

It's SO hard to find and then KEEP balance and harmony? Why does this have to be SO difficult? I'll answer my own's that darn satan and his overwhelming desire to get in our way and take the sweetness from our lives! I imagine it like this... life is joyfully proceeding and harmony and balance abound, BUT WAIT! The adversary can't have THAT going on, so he throws stones in the road to trip us, and puts roadblocks out to hedge up our way! It is amazing to me at the simplicity of his job, sometimes, and how easily he sneaks in to throw us off course! It's another one of those things that is MAKIN' ME CRAZY! (Do I really need more craziness? I am quite sure I've got plenty of that to share! Anyone want some, I am full!) :0) Guess what else has fallen by the wayside? FEC! (Family Executive Council meetings.) How do ya' like them cookies? This fabulous, weekly planning tool that brought so much harmony to our lives, has been completely non-existent lately. Goodness...there is SO MUCH TO DO! I can't ever seem to keep it straight! I focus my attention over here, and then something behind me falls apart. I turn to fix THAT, and then that other thing goes "Bye-Bye!" I have determined that Heavenly Father is an amazing, Master Juggler! I plan to ask Him for some private, juggling lessons! I am quite sure He knows all about this sort of predicament I am in! He always keeps things together so beautifully--I think I just need to ask Him again, to be my tutor through all of this! Will I ever get it all together? I really hope so! As of right now, my kids are going to grow up with a very sure understanding that their mama was a bit cuckoo! Goodness me, I HOPE they don't just have memories of all the places I was lacking as a mother, when they grow up! I've really got to get it together better! Any suggestions about how to KEEP it together once I GET it together? :0)


  1. We are always trying to get it together it seems. Each new season of life makes us tweak ourselves, hopefully for the better. :-)

    Keep up the good work mommy! You can do it!

  2. Thanks for the encouragement, Celeste! One of these days I will figure this all out! LOL :0)