I have felt very strongly, that I should go through each of the 4 basics of Self-Government with the kiddo's, to make sure they understand all of the steps involved in obedience. This is a work in progress, as I really want them to have a full understanding of how the system works, as well as to have all the tools available to them, to help them be really successful in governing themselves. We have been talking about how to follow instructions, how to accept a consequence, how to disagree appropriately and how to accept a "No" answer. A couple days ago, I made 3 charts for our family. One is a list of our Family Laws, using only pictures to describe the law and then the consequence for breaking the law. (I have one with words, but the kiddo's needed something they could understand since they don't read fluently yet.) Then I made another one that lists (in words and pictures), each of the privileges for our family, as well as an Extra Chore, a Major Maintenance, SODAS and 24 Hour Loss of Privileges or what I call the LOP. Included with this list, is the Rule of Three (with words and pictures), so the children and I can all follow along and understand it. The last chart I made is a place for me to write in dry erase marker by each child's name, which job they are currently being trained to do. This way, when I am away from home and my husband or my mom is with the kiddo's, they know what each child is learning to do for chores. I think these things will help us stay on track!
I had a great SODAS session with our oldest daughter this morning! (SODAS is a problem solving exercise that I highly recommend. See the website to the right of my blog, for more wonderful information!) Once she calms down and will give and take in a conversation, she does wonderfully. We were able to talk through a couple of recent situations, and she gave some great options for how best to handle them. But even after that, she keeps struggling with the most basic thing, which is following an instruction. I can't quite figure her out. Somehow, she hasn't quite made the connection that she is choosing the consequences she's getting. She did two Major Maintenance's this morning. WILLINGLY!! I smiled and told her how great she did and how grown up she was and she nodded her head and smiled. She had earned another Major Maintenance as well, and this was a new job for her. I asked her to fold her dad's work shirts. She's six. I figured she could handle it. I gave her some guidance and showed her what to do. She started out okay, but soon got frustrated and gave up. She said "I can't do it!" As is the case with her morning basics as well (make your bed, say your prayers, brush your teeth, wash your face/bathe, get dressed), I always tell her to do her very best. She isn't grasping that her best is good enough...either that, or is using this as an excuse not to do the work. I don't know...she boggles my mind lately! :0) I want our children to do the job right! I want them to work hard to learn to do things around our home, to the standards of Mr. Man and myself. But I also want them to know that a genuine effort to do the best they can, is completely acceptable to me. Obviously, I don't expect perfection from them. They are little. But I am trying to teach them appropriately and balance it all. I think I just need to keep at it!
One of my son's is really struggling with whining lately. (That and lying and not answering questions.) The whining is a big issue. I really think he's in a bad habit. He whines about everything, even with no provocation. It's really strange and really annoying. We have spent a lot of time with him, trying to help him figure out what is making him unhappy in his life. I think he's just in a really bad habit. I don't quite know what to do about it, and have been thinking that some sort of motivation is in order. I might start offering some, small form of motivation for every hour he can go without whining. Does anyone have any ideas on this?
I just found THIS! I LOVE IT!