Monday, September 20, 2010

My Heart Aches

Sorry...this post isn't a happy one. I am feeling SO discouraged about my Luv Bug! She has changed somewhat, in the last few months. She growls and disobeys and laughs all the while. Her usual sweetness is hidden beneath chaotic behavior and it hurts my heart. I know she's a good girl and that she wants to be good, but sometimes, for whatever reason, she just can't. She runs from me, laughs and makes faces and growls with her claws up in the air (literally). People tell me they think she has ADHD, but she has never had issues attending to things. She can spend an hour or more, doing various different activities (one activity for one hour) and pays attention to them. That doesn't say ADHD to me...but I am not exactly sure what it is. She has quite the biological family history of mental health issues that would make your head spin. This history is, I think, what scares me the most. Mr. Man and I are having issues with her that we would expect from a rebellious teenager. (We are honestly not expecting to deal with a whole lot of rebellion from our teenagers, due to some systems, goals, etc. that we are working on with the children right now.) But Luv Bug really struggles with obedience! She is disobedient more than she is obedient. I just can't seem to get through to her. She doesn't mind, and then receives a consequence (which is usually an extra chore for everyone else), but she won't do it and we can't make her, so she usually gets toys put in time out, which usually makes her more angry and brings on a tantrum and more dysfunction to our home. Our in -home therapists would tell you that I am pretty good at ignoring her bad behavior, but that it often escalates to the point that it can't be ignored anymore. The big thing about all of this, is that we refuse to medicate her. I have spoken to too many people who have told me that their children have turned into zombie's when they've been on medication. Plus, Mr. Man and I really understand the importance of teaching her to govern herself and have self control. I bawled my eyes out to her this morning, and told her how much my heart hurts when she acts this way. Tears rolled down her cheeks and we both cried. I told her what a good girl she is and that I want her to share the love and joy in her heart, and tell her inner monster to hit the road, Jack! I know she wants to behave better, but so far it's been pretty rough! Even today, after that talk, we've had problems. I guess there are lessons for both of us to learn. One of mine is patience, one of hers is expressing her anger appropriately. I pray someday it will get easier! Would you pray too? Thanks! :0)

2 comments:

  1. For some reason, my blog isn't picking up your feed anymore so I didn't realize you had been posting because it didn't show up on my page. Anyway, I've been caching up a little on here. I love to peak into what your sweet family is doing. I'm glad things are going well for the most part! I'm sorry you're having problems with Luv Bug. You seem to be handling them so well that I'm sure she'll make it through this learning experience just fine. I'll keep you guys in my prayers :)

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